I try to see everything I do as a learning experience...so going to PDX for a "Spa" weekend was no different. Here is what I learned from this past weekend.
1. Apparently a "baby moon" is a real thing...at first I thought my wife was making stuff up. She was adamant it was an actual thing. So I went directly to the source of all information. I googled it. Shieeeet...turns out they even have articles on the "Top 10 destinations for Baby Moons"....who figured this was a real thing?
2. You never tell a pregnant woman to just "put something on that fits". I actually said that with no bad intention at all. I mean...it makes logical sense right. You try on clothes and it doesn't fit, so you put something on that fits? I mean let's analyze this. The potential solutions for this problem are fairly limited. You either find something that fits or you don't wear clothes. When you consider the pros and cons of each option, obviously putting on something that fits is the logical choice. So what's the harm in stating the logical choice right? WRONG!!!! Women don't care about logic - this will be the first thing I teach my son about women.
3. Did you know Buffalo wild wings now has a new menu item that's like mini-Cinnabons? sounds delicious right? I mean what's wrong with bite size Cinnabons...WRONG AGAIN. It tastes like shiet. Don't get it. Don't waste your time.
4. PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAY TO SOAK IN A BATH TUB WITH WATER. I know this sounds absolutely crazy but its true. And check this...the water isn't even special water..its REGULAR tap water...!!!! I though it was gonna be some super ultra special water...with gold flakes and regrows limbs and shiet...NOPE...its just regular tap water..
5. A "4 star" hotel in Portland means...a hotel that doesn't have flat TVs..and you can't order movies from the TV.....I think a 3 star hotel in Vegas might be nicer...
6. Never order Dominos in Portland. They will charge you $0.50 for ranch and FORGET it when delivering your order....I'm never ordering from Dominos again.
7. Fun fact....did you know there's actually a law that makes it illegal to send an entire building through the mail? It's been illegal since 1916 when a man mailed a 40k ton brick house across Utah to avoid freight rates.
Babymoons are totally a thing! It makes sense, doesn't it? Getaway weekend before the baby comes so you don't have to 1) feel guilty 2) miss your kid 3) pay a babysitter/coerce a family member to watch the baby 4) get scared if something is "wrong" with the baby and rush home or worry all weekend about the baby
ReplyDeleteNo woman is logical.
Let me know if you find one with gold flakes that regrows limbs! I'd pay for that one.